Redemption

I was very disappointed in myself on Wednesday, C25K w7d2, which entailed a 25 minute run. I had done 25 minute runs last Friday and this Monday without too much trouble. I was able to talk myself through the walls around 10 minutes and push myself through the last 5 minutes relatively easily.

Wednesday was different. I started feeling myself hitting a wall around 8 or 9 minutes, then another around 15, then looked at my time in desparation around 18, hoping that I was almost done. I was having a mental argument with myself over whether or not I should give up and start walking. The previous two runs had gone so well but today my legs felt like lead. I finally pulled the plug, and slowed to a walk around 19 minutes, a mere 6 minutes from the end. I felt an instant sense of failure. Granted, it was a toasty 84 degrees when I laced up my shoes, and the humidity was pretty high, too. Still... it was frustrating.

I fight with frustration over my own failures occasionally. Who doesn't? I know, from the outside, this might not seem like a huge deal. Just redo day 2 and move on, right? It still represents, to me, a failure of mind over matter, which has been a driving force for me during much of this training. I count on my brain one-upping my body! I need it to be able to keep pushing me through the hilly areas or the sluggish feelings. If I don't have that, what DO I have to keep me going on this journey?

The end of the work week was HOT - 95-100 degrees hot - and so I decided to delay d3 until this morning. I woke up naturally around 6:30am. My body clock is pretty reliable. I laid in bed for a while, trying to convince myself to try to sleep in on this beautiful weekend morning, without success. After a pbj to calm my waking stomach, I strapped on my shoes, popped in the ear buds, and hit the sidewalk. As expected, I was nervous. I couldn't get Wednesday's run out of my mind. But this morning was different. 70 degrees, sunny, breezy, and full of the promise of a long summer holiday weekend.

During the first part of the run, I had to consciously slow myself down several times, knowing I had a ways to go. Then that heavy feeling in my legs started to set in around 14 minutes. "Oh no! I'm not going to make it," was my first thought and then, "I HAVE to make it," my second. I'm anxiously awaiting the next week's C25K podcast to get away from a song in this week's that honestly kind of creeps me out. Reason enough to finish, right?!

I made a shortcut in my route, apparently subconsciously thinking that if I made it to my usual stopping point earlier, that the time would go faster. ;) I began to pull out every trick in my book, breathing exercises, mantras, turning only down the downhill/shady streets, thinking about ice cream... and then finally, that beloved voice telling me I had one minute left! That last minute is always painful, but somehow not. Knowing the end is in sight makes it conquerable.

At the end of that 25 minutes. I bent over for a moment to catch my breath and nearly passed out. I decided I'd better just keep walking. The sense of accomplishment started to wash away the exhaustion and give me tingles. Once at home, I sat down to relax for a moment, and commemorated my victory with the neighbor girl's sidewalk chalk.

From Still chasing skies...

I hope you are also able to conquer whatever obstacles you encounter this week!