[SadPhyre] "sometimes you just want to enjoy life for the simple pleasures instead of always competing"

I think this man just summed up the majority of any adult life I've experienced, as well as much of my adolesence. I am somewhat blown away.

dammit, dorfy. now i want tator tot hotdish. :o)

Word of the Day for Tuesday September 18, 2001:

quagmire \KWAG-mire; KWAHG-\, noun:
1. Soft, wet, miry land that shakes or yields under the feet.
2. A difficult or precarious position or situation; a
predicament.

.... boy, if that ain't the truth. :P

Sometimes hope is painful.

Some people try to look at the stars, but the darkness gets in the way.

Thinking who's arms I should have been going home to last night made me sink into a new spot in my mind and my heart. I am trying to think about how things can only get better and all of that, but it is also hard to think about the wonderful future that may not be in store for me now. I am up and down and up and down as far as my emotions go, but not in the usual way. I am numb on the outside, and deep down, I am feeling emotions that I have never known before. I am trying to not be selfish, and realize this may be the only way right now... and to be optimistic.

"Here I am, waiting to hold you"

"My affection is your infection."
~ X-Cabs, "Infectious"

I had a fairly restless night last night, as the night before. I don't quite know what to do with myself. Just waiting things out and hoping for the best. I am thinking too much and, for some reason, can only keep the good in the front of my mind. It is making it all too hard to not know where I might be a week from now.

"Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there..." (if only I am let in)

Just when I was starting to finally be able to relax... someone points out this. (via Chrome)

Apparantly Arafat doesn't get woozy at the sight of needles.
(via Da5id)

Today was the most exhausting day emotionally that I've faced in a long time, probably forever. I woke up this morning to knocking on Matt's door by Devon telling us everything that had occured in New York a few minutes before. Horrifying. Disgusting that anyone can hold so much hatred towards others.

Tonight I experienced a pain in my heart that I have never felt to this extent before. I am hurting someone incredibly dear to me. I am terrified that I can be the cause of such sorrow. I can only wait, and communicate what I am able to, and hope that I have not severed the ties of the most wonderful love I have ever known. My heart is breaking, and my head is numb, so nothing more can be explained right now.

Tool - "Schism "

"I know the pieces fit cuz I watched them fall away
mildewed and smoldering, fundamental differing,
pure intention juxtaposed will set two lovers souls in motion
disintegrating as it goes testing our communication
the light that fueled our fire then has burned a hole between us so
we cannot see to reach an end crippling our communication.

"I know the pieces fit cuz I watched them tumble down
no fault, none to blame it doesn't mean I don't desire to
point the finger, blame the other, watch the temple topple over.
To bring the pieces back together, rediscover communication."

"one of the best quotes my brother has ever provided:
'ask for rediculous things, because sometimes, people say "yes"'"

via FictionSuits

This is the only proper way to sum up last evening's party:

"[22:56] [tbsoup] HOw did this party turn into slapstick bondage."
(Duct tape and drunk people don't mix... or mix quite well, depending on your point of view.) One fucking good time, I tell you.

Sometimes I just don't care (or at least I like to think so.)

"Children should not have to pay the price of the failure of adults to live together in peace."

What the fuck is wrong with people anyway? I've been seeing way too much displaced agression lately, from people all around me, even at work. It's horrifying.

On my fortune cookie tonight: "He who has not tasted the bitter does not understand the sweet."

It felt too much like a Monday today. Things went fine at work, but it was hard to stay motivated and I ended up leaving early just because I could. Sometimes a half hour can make all the difference. I stopped at the bank to cash a check and came back to find Matt still at home, which was unexpected and a wonderful suprise. We ran an errand, I took a short nap (yay!) and we went out for pizza. Thankfully, one of the best parts of a long weekend, is a short work week. Three days until a fun weekend.

"Man Receives Polka Punishment." (via Matt)

Ben, Devon, Matt and I went to the State Fair on Saturday. It was quite a day, got up early after too little sleep, went out there and drove around for a half hour trying to find a parking spot, then began a long, but fun romp around the fair grounds. The weather was beautiful and everything that you'd expect out of the MN State Fair was there. We ate too much, played too many video games, got lots of free crappy propaganda, and rode the Space Tower for a beautiful view that stretched way farther than I imagined it would.

Yesterday was spent with family in the 'burbs. I hadn't seen my parents for two months so it was wonderful to get a dose of Mom's hugs and Dad's silly sarcasm. It is a little easier to be around them now that I am doing what I want to do and supporting myself. They are still constantly worried about me, but I can deal with that.

I've been basically spending way too much time at the House of Skark (a.k.a. Matt's place), but it's been going better and better. I'm never quite sure if I've worn out my welcome or not, but it's difficult to leave when things are pleasant. I'm happier with my boy than I've been for a while. I'm always more sure of what we've got together and where we are going. Love feels good.