"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today." ~ James Dean

Is it just me or have the forwarded emails been getting better lately?...

"Ho Ho Ho,
Hello out there all people of the world. This is Santa and I just wanted to let you know that Christmas may be a little late this year. See after checking all the boxes and tallying them up, I found some problems with the results.

"The first result showed:
428,534,120 Good
428,523,119 Bad

"The second result showed:
428,534,118 Good
428,523,121 Bad

"So you see, I can't, with good faith, go out and deliver presents while knowing I could have made a mistake. Maybe Little Johnny was good for once, then again, maybe not. So, I have enlisted the help of all my elves and the Mrs. To help do a recount. We hope to have this finished up by 5pm on the 24th of December, but there is a possibility that it might take longer. You see the tally cards were not quite clear to me, although I made them myself, I forgot what they meant. You know, Good...and Bad??? And the check marks I used were not all the same, some went left, some right, some were just a mark. some went through both boxes, and some didn't even have much of a mark on them. I leave it up to them to decide what I meant.
"So if you wake up on Christmas morning, and there are no presents under your tree, at least you can tell the kids the story. Thank you for your patience and understanding in these times.

Santa"

evilone: "most of the people in this channel have trouble interacting with humans at a drive-thru, let alone a gf." (I love IRC.)

Brunching shuttlecocks' review of Dungeons and Dragons.

Seen scrawled in the back cover of a book at the library tonight: "Isn't it rich, isn't it queer, losing my timing this late in my career, Where are the clowns?"

"Sometimes we turn a corner in our lives and everything changes. A stranger is standing there -- in sun or shadow, it doesn't matter. He is there for us. He moves the pieces on the board when we're not looking, wipes tears from our eyes when we thought we were laughing and places them on our tongue so we'll recognize the taste, wince at the saltiness.

"It happens in the most carefully planned lives, the most protected. Lives that have put miles around them, that have been built far out in the wilderness under the naive assumption that no hunters will find them."

~ excerpt from the Prologue, "Bondage" by Patti Davis

I wish I could get past worrying so much about what everybody thinks. Especially the ones I love. Things could be so much easier, so much less painful. It's a pain that only exists inside of me. It's something I create and it is not necessary. I guess realizing this is the first step.

I love Cirque du Soleil. It fascinates me despite never having been to a live show and knowing very little about it. I remember first hearing about it when I was 12 or 13 in a kid's magazine and thinking it was really ecclectic and somewhat intimidating to my then-sheltered mind. Then I recently discovered Bravo and their random specials on this most incredible of circuses. This week they are not only airing "Dralion," Cirque's most recent American performance, which I unfortunately missed, but several more hour long specials on aspects of the shows. Woohoo! (I hope I have enough vcr tapes.)

Through all of our junior high social studies classes we watched a special CNN news show for schools and had to take notes. I, who saves everything, still have my ninth grade CNN notebook lying around. This week in 1992: the Gulf War; Operation Restore Hope in Somalia; Yugoslavia split into five republics resulting in more than one million refugees and widespread famine.

Fairly uneventful but fun weekend. I saw "Dungeons and Dragons" on Friday with a few good friends. Wired News' take on it is pretty accurate. It's definitely worth seeing, but probably not worth the money, unless your a real diehard DnD'er, until it gets to the cheap theatres (hooray for dollar theatres!). The plot was pretty good, though left some room for improvment with silly aspects here and there. The makeup department got rather overzealous, but the eyecandy was fantastic - good computer graphics, and beautiful sets.
The rest of the weekend was a flurry of eating out, random wandering at various shopping locales, and getting nowhere near enough sleep. But what's new?

In the cap of my Jones Soda bottle: "You will receive many favorable e-mails." What's the timeframe on these things anyway? Prove the Jones Soda gods right and send me some email. :o)

Saxton-H: "Toilet Paper, Juice, Nachos - the perfect mix"

ehlie: "darnit anyway. i wanna go back to 1974"
w00dz-H: "why?"
w00dz-H: "go to iowa"

Bowling and Uno's last June; These photos were taken by Aaron with his Lomo and I can't get over how fascinating that camera can make the simplest of dinner and bowling outings look. Of course, it helped that he was photographing a some of the goofiest people I know. (I'm the odd looking one in the pale yellow shirt.)

I've had a cat in my dreams two nights in a row. I don't like what "The Dreamer's Dictionary" says about it; "A generally unfortunate omen indicating treachery and deceit among those you trust."

I'm seeing this everywhere on the web today. It's worth a listen... "I believe that robots are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way." Ha.

"This is what you get when you mess with us..." ~ Radiohead - Karma Police

I find weird stuff in my room sometimes. Two pieces of notepaper in a notepad. Gold writing in two different handwriting styles. I have no clue where they came from, but they're interesting. I don't claim responsibility for writing either, but I will admit that I have some nutty friends.

"A long, long, long, long time ago, before the wind, before the snow, lived a man, lived a man I know, lived a freak of nature named Sir Psycho. Sir Psycho sexy, that is me, sometimes I find I need to scream. Waahhhh!!"

"If there was a time, then it is now. Round and round we go, to all you people I'll tell you now. When is all and then all is said and done. I want to Rock and Roll and never shall I run. This is the close, the end and final word. When all is said and done, from my brain now you have heard."

I'm sans roommate tonight and it's really nice. I needed a dose of silent isolation to collect my thoughts. There have been too many coincidences and correlations between theatrical symbols and my real life lately. I'm starting to wonder if I'm an actual personality or something fabricated from a sheltered past and a somewhat immersed present. I know I let it all affect me too much. But yet, I'm still so confused. I'm craving something pure, something real - a certain level of openness and honesty and friendship. These recycled emotions and actions of mine are wearing me thin. Excuse the cryptic language, but it's something so general in my life, which relates to every piece of my being right now, that it can't be explained any less vaguely.

Flori-duh. I'm getting tired of all this election bs. Gore's team are whiners.

"I'm still learning things I oughtta know by now..." ~ Vertical Horizon - You're a God

"You can see forever look inside of your mind. Find a sense, another wonder, just release the fears you left behind. Feel your way through the darkness, guide your soul into the light. Swim into the open water, drift on the tides that you may find. Find your soul in the sunrise. Look around, you can see it in their eyes. Be as one together. Rise up as the emptiness subsides. You can see forever, rise up together. Search and you will find the answer if you look deep inside of your mind."
~ Cass & Slide - Perception (Vocal Mix)

In my fortune cookie today: "One small change today can create many big changes tomorrow."

Read the fine print.... Something's a little fishy. "For the first time ever, a series of coins has been released honoring each of the US Presidents on a genuine five-dollar coin... Each coin is officially authorized by the Government of Liberia." I thought it may have just been my messed up late night mind screwing with me when I heard that on tv last night, but this is undeniable. Undeniably weird.

"I'll give you the most delicious kisses on your face. You see, I need you to be addicted to me..." ~ DJ Crush/Esthero - Final Home

Now don't get me wrong. I think the "...For Dummies" series is wonderful. They've just taken it a little too far. If anyone actually found ICQ difficult enough to warrant purchasing this, I wouldn't recommend they bother trying.

There's a pile of phone numbers on post-it notes in front of me. People who have called for me. Mostly headhunters. Mostly calls that I probably won't return. On top of my monitor sits the forms to go take a drug test for a job that I really don't want. All I need is an excuse to put it off. These excuses seem to be coming easily. There are jobs I want, places I wouldn't mind working for, but I wait and wait and don't call them. So much I need to do. So many people I need to get back in touch with. Yet here I sit, lost in thought. One skill I definitely seem to have mastered: procrastination.

I can't help wondering if it's me or you.

orbital. belfast. yum.

lots of info being pushed at me. opinions and thoughts and my brain chews away at them trying to find the answers. i'm starting to wonder if there are answers to be found. anywhere. for anything. or is it all just one big sick joke. i thought i was going somewhere. i probably still am, just getting a slow start. eventually. (soon)