"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today." ~ James Dean

Is it just me or have the forwarded emails been getting better lately?...

"Ho Ho Ho,
Hello out there all people of the world. This is Santa and I just wanted to let you know that Christmas may be a little late this year. See after checking all the boxes and tallying them up, I found some problems with the results.

"The first result showed:
428,534,120 Good
428,523,119 Bad

"The second result showed:
428,534,118 Good
428,523,121 Bad

"So you see, I can't, with good faith, go out and deliver presents while knowing I could have made a mistake. Maybe Little Johnny was good for once, then again, maybe not. So, I have enlisted the help of all my elves and the Mrs. To help do a recount. We hope to have this finished up by 5pm on the 24th of December, but there is a possibility that it might take longer. You see the tally cards were not quite clear to me, although I made them myself, I forgot what they meant. You know, Good...and Bad??? And the check marks I used were not all the same, some went left, some right, some were just a mark. some went through both boxes, and some didn't even have much of a mark on them. I leave it up to them to decide what I meant.
"So if you wake up on Christmas morning, and there are no presents under your tree, at least you can tell the kids the story. Thank you for your patience and understanding in these times.

Santa"

evilone: "most of the people in this channel have trouble interacting with humans at a drive-thru, let alone a gf." (I love IRC.)

Brunching shuttlecocks' review of Dungeons and Dragons.

Seen scrawled in the back cover of a book at the library tonight: "Isn't it rich, isn't it queer, losing my timing this late in my career, Where are the clowns?"

"Sometimes we turn a corner in our lives and everything changes. A stranger is standing there -- in sun or shadow, it doesn't matter. He is there for us. He moves the pieces on the board when we're not looking, wipes tears from our eyes when we thought we were laughing and places them on our tongue so we'll recognize the taste, wince at the saltiness.

"It happens in the most carefully planned lives, the most protected. Lives that have put miles around them, that have been built far out in the wilderness under the naive assumption that no hunters will find them."

~ excerpt from the Prologue, "Bondage" by Patti Davis

I wish I could get past worrying so much about what everybody thinks. Especially the ones I love. Things could be so much easier, so much less painful. It's a pain that only exists inside of me. It's something I create and it is not necessary. I guess realizing this is the first step.

I love Cirque du Soleil. It fascinates me despite never having been to a live show and knowing very little about it. I remember first hearing about it when I was 12 or 13 in a kid's magazine and thinking it was really ecclectic and somewhat intimidating to my then-sheltered mind. Then I recently discovered Bravo and their random specials on this most incredible of circuses. This week they are not only airing "Dralion," Cirque's most recent American performance, which I unfortunately missed, but several more hour long specials on aspects of the shows. Woohoo! (I hope I have enough vcr tapes.)

Through all of our junior high social studies classes we watched a special CNN news show for schools and had to take notes. I, who saves everything, still have my ninth grade CNN notebook lying around. This week in 1992: the Gulf War; Operation Restore Hope in Somalia; Yugoslavia split into five republics resulting in more than one million refugees and widespread famine.

Fairly uneventful but fun weekend. I saw "Dungeons and Dragons" on Friday with a few good friends. Wired News' take on it is pretty accurate. It's definitely worth seeing, but probably not worth the money, unless your a real diehard DnD'er, until it gets to the cheap theatres (hooray for dollar theatres!). The plot was pretty good, though left some room for improvment with silly aspects here and there. The makeup department got rather overzealous, but the eyecandy was fantastic - good computer graphics, and beautiful sets.
The rest of the weekend was a flurry of eating out, random wandering at various shopping locales, and getting nowhere near enough sleep. But what's new?

In the cap of my Jones Soda bottle: "You will receive many favorable e-mails." What's the timeframe on these things anyway? Prove the Jones Soda gods right and send me some email. :o)

Saxton-H: "Toilet Paper, Juice, Nachos - the perfect mix"

ehlie: "darnit anyway. i wanna go back to 1974"
w00dz-H: "why?"
w00dz-H: "go to iowa"

Bowling and Uno's last June; These photos were taken by Aaron with his Lomo and I can't get over how fascinating that camera can make the simplest of dinner and bowling outings look. Of course, it helped that he was photographing a some of the goofiest people I know. (I'm the odd looking one in the pale yellow shirt.)

I've had a cat in my dreams two nights in a row. I don't like what "The Dreamer's Dictionary" says about it; "A generally unfortunate omen indicating treachery and deceit among those you trust."

I'm seeing this everywhere on the web today. It's worth a listen... "I believe that robots are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way." Ha.

"This is what you get when you mess with us..." ~ Radiohead - Karma Police

I find weird stuff in my room sometimes. Two pieces of notepaper in a notepad. Gold writing in two different handwriting styles. I have no clue where they came from, but they're interesting. I don't claim responsibility for writing either, but I will admit that I have some nutty friends.

"A long, long, long, long time ago, before the wind, before the snow, lived a man, lived a man I know, lived a freak of nature named Sir Psycho. Sir Psycho sexy, that is me, sometimes I find I need to scream. Waahhhh!!"

"If there was a time, then it is now. Round and round we go, to all you people I'll tell you now. When is all and then all is said and done. I want to Rock and Roll and never shall I run. This is the close, the end and final word. When all is said and done, from my brain now you have heard."

I'm sans roommate tonight and it's really nice. I needed a dose of silent isolation to collect my thoughts. There have been too many coincidences and correlations between theatrical symbols and my real life lately. I'm starting to wonder if I'm an actual personality or something fabricated from a sheltered past and a somewhat immersed present. I know I let it all affect me too much. But yet, I'm still so confused. I'm craving something pure, something real - a certain level of openness and honesty and friendship. These recycled emotions and actions of mine are wearing me thin. Excuse the cryptic language, but it's something so general in my life, which relates to every piece of my being right now, that it can't be explained any less vaguely.

Flori-duh. I'm getting tired of all this election bs. Gore's team are whiners.

"I'm still learning things I oughtta know by now..." ~ Vertical Horizon - You're a God

"You can see forever look inside of your mind. Find a sense, another wonder, just release the fears you left behind. Feel your way through the darkness, guide your soul into the light. Swim into the open water, drift on the tides that you may find. Find your soul in the sunrise. Look around, you can see it in their eyes. Be as one together. Rise up as the emptiness subsides. You can see forever, rise up together. Search and you will find the answer if you look deep inside of your mind."
~ Cass & Slide - Perception (Vocal Mix)

In my fortune cookie today: "One small change today can create many big changes tomorrow."

Read the fine print.... Something's a little fishy. "For the first time ever, a series of coins has been released honoring each of the US Presidents on a genuine five-dollar coin... Each coin is officially authorized by the Government of Liberia." I thought it may have just been my messed up late night mind screwing with me when I heard that on tv last night, but this is undeniable. Undeniably weird.

"I'll give you the most delicious kisses on your face. You see, I need you to be addicted to me..." ~ DJ Crush/Esthero - Final Home

Now don't get me wrong. I think the "...For Dummies" series is wonderful. They've just taken it a little too far. If anyone actually found ICQ difficult enough to warrant purchasing this, I wouldn't recommend they bother trying.

There's a pile of phone numbers on post-it notes in front of me. People who have called for me. Mostly headhunters. Mostly calls that I probably won't return. On top of my monitor sits the forms to go take a drug test for a job that I really don't want. All I need is an excuse to put it off. These excuses seem to be coming easily. There are jobs I want, places I wouldn't mind working for, but I wait and wait and don't call them. So much I need to do. So many people I need to get back in touch with. Yet here I sit, lost in thought. One skill I definitely seem to have mastered: procrastination.

I can't help wondering if it's me or you.

orbital. belfast. yum.

lots of info being pushed at me. opinions and thoughts and my brain chews away at them trying to find the answers. i'm starting to wonder if there are answers to be found. anywhere. for anything. or is it all just one big sick joke. i thought i was going somewhere. i probably still am, just getting a slow start. eventually. (soon)

I am constantly amazed and appalled at the slowness of the system. Things that should theoretically be dealt with and gone in minutes linger for days, even weeks. I returned an overdue book, which was the reason for the hold on my class registration for spring semester, to the college library tonight. Thanks to several factors; the misunderstandings between myself and a library worker who can hardly speak or understand English, the who-knows-how-many computers and checks that book has to go through, I am not going to be able to register for classes until at least tomorrow, maybe Friday. Hmph. All I want is one friggin PE class and they won't let me register because of one overdue book? What is this world coming to? ;P

...knowing when to give a shit and when to let it go... *sigh*

What the fuck am I doing here?

ilovesnow, butnotwhensnowcausessnowemergencies, andsnowgetsinthewayofwhereiparkmycar, becauseitcouldgettowedifthesnowplowscomearoundtoplowthesnow, beforemycarisoutofthesnowystreet. yup.
(editor's note: blah. blogger doesn't like run-on words/sentences. ;P)

So what if the progression of inner peace and enlightenment sometimes need a little boost from unorthodox methods?! Isn't that what we're here to do? To stretch our beliefs and ideas. To stray, even if ever so slightly, from what the world expects of us to find out who we are as individuals. To find out how where we've been and what we've seen has affected us, what we've learned, what we want, and most of all, where we are headed. (And maybe have a little fun in the process? ;o)

As little as I actually care about money and finances, it's horrible being completely broke all of the time - scrounging for gas money just to go the few miles to visit my sweetheart, eating ramen and milk much more often than I'd like, basically just not being able to go run out and do something fun that costs a little money once in a while. And Christmas is coming. I am hoping to make most of the gifts I give this year, but even those supplies cost money. Bleh. I miss going to play pool at 1:00am when there's nothing else to do. I miss seeing movies on opening night rather than months later when they make it to the dollar theatre. I don't think it's greed. It's just longing for not having to worry all the time. Things are looking slightly up again. I have interviewed for one new job, and heard back from many more about my resume. I hope to have a new job within a week or two. I need to have a job within a week or two.

Finally, a redesign that I'm somewhat happy with for the time being! It's simple, colorful, and easy to maintain. I am going to be adding some of my writing including essays, music and movie reviews, and perhaps some of my crappy prose/poetry. Watch out!

The Rose Center for Earth and Space looks so incredible! New York has been bumped up a notch on my places-to-go-eventually list.

I worry too much.

hehe

so sheltered protected repressed so wasted - transformation accepting myself coming out of this rock hard shell .

Oooooh dear! (a must-see for anyone as sick of this election as I am...) ;P

What a nerve wracking night last night - keeping a close eye on the electoral votes until I couldn't stay awake any longer and going to sleep knowing that it all hinged on those last few states and could really go either way from there. I awoke to find it still down to the wire, but I think it's safe to say that we will have a second George Bush in position in two months. At this point, anything to get Clinton out of there.

"<[Duke]> yea.. I was so sick of gore and bush that I Ralphed. :)"

I did the same, but for different reasons. I followed my conscience. I refused to vote for the lesser of two evils and decided to vote for someone that I had faith in and respected. Whether he would win or not was beside the point.

So beautiful. This too.

Welp, I recently missed my rare opportunity to see this in Minneapolis, but someday. Yes, someday. It's like "Up With People," only better.

Gratuitous link to a great musician. ;o)

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas... okay, maybe just winter. Happy election day and first snow of the season!

Ego-centrism pisses me off.

So what is it with this Arbys commercial that three very different people at two different times in the last couple of days have stated strong dislike for? I have yet to hear it all the way through because someone goes off on a rant about it, but I can't imagine who they think they're marketing to if these very different people all hate it....

Please, please, please go vote tomorrow. If not, remember that you have given up the right to bitch about the state of the country. Found a handy dandy little poll finder script for those in Minnesota.

More from everyone's favorite writer/director, Kevin Smith. This column revolving around the making of the final installment of his "Jersey Trilogy." :(

"...but the city's not a part of it. You go there at your own risk." (Uh. What a great way to deal with the problem.)

Give me a break..."Maybe he deserves to be a casualty..." Whether Norman is referring to drugs or not, maybe she needs to look at how her kids were raised to interact with music, icons, and drugs, before placing the blame on free speech.

Vent some frustrations.

I'm losing patience with this page! Redesign on it's way... eventually. ;P

I just received a random message from my host, Aaron, telling me that my page is WAP (Wireless Application Protocol) compatible. Whoo! ;P

I managed to get a lot of bugs cleared out of my head the other night. I have a lot of stuff to deal with now; new job, figure out what I'm doing with school and my life in general, and talk out some stuff with my parents. I'm optimistic that once I get over these hurdles, things are going to be a lot better. I can already feel it coming.

Mmm, Hooverphonic. I was introduced to their music last Tuesday as they opened for BT at The Quest in Minneapolis. I had never heard of them or any of their songs, but was swept off my feet by their mellow beats and Geike's soaring voice. My favorites include: "Battersea," "Autoharp," "Waves," and "Frosted Flake Wood."

The Vikings are kicking some ass this season. As of last night they're 6-0. I hope I don't jinx it.

Where is my place in all of this?

So I've never really been one for football, until recently. I used to blow it off as another silly sport, but the Superbowl last season was entertaining and I actually had fun watching the Minnesota Vikings game tonight against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. It started off as a pretty uneventful game and turned into a race against the clock at the end. We won and now have a 5-0 record. I'm excited to go to the game in November with Matty and my parents.

I've been vegging around too much lately. Rotting. Molding. I feel like a blob. I need to find a good job that I actually enjoy. I need to get out and have some fun outside of the little world I have found myself stuck in lately. How in the world does one find a cool part-time job? I know it's possible. I know people that work at really cool stores and bookshops and theatres. I just don't even know where to begin.

"Don't crucify if I feel alive." - DJ Rap

A slightly less serious Amen: "Pants Rant, Part Deux."

"A Call to Action." Amen.

When it comes down to it, the internet/web is an extremely small place. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

Aw, cruddy and disappointing ending. But the archives are still worth the read!

I've never been all that into comics except for a random Ziggy or Garfield (this one gave me a good giggle) cartoon and of course Squee. I started reading Road Waffles on the suggestion of a friend and have spent a couple of nights glued to the archives. Ya gotta start from the beginning to understand all the silly little subplots and character references.

Even Mmmmier (yes, that's a word): Circus Peanuts!

Nah, I'm not bored. Why would you think that? ;o)

Mmmm, Peeps.

This is better than any vacation home I can think of. (another one found on CamWorld)

The Destructive Role of Denial in Web Design. Link stolen from CamWorld.

One Hundred Demons

There's no such thing as a late paper. Yeah, tell that to my profs. Actually, the advice found here, if modified slightly, can be very useful.

"A Woman's Guide on How to Pee Standing." Hrm.

Lomos are seemingly (and hopefully) taking over the world! They are cute little cameras with no flash and a precision light meter that take some of the most beautiful and interesting pictures you'll have ever seen. My friend Aaron has a Lomo and some neat examples of what can be done with one here and here. I can't wait to get one of my own!

Glowing rabbits?!

Paperclip Porn. Somebody was REALLY bored at work. ;o)

After reading "Into Thin Air" by Jon Krakauer (which my uncle so graciously loaned to me after watching me pour over the pictures in his beautiful hardcover edition for an hour), I have become obsessed with learning all that I can about the events which unfolded on this May 1996 Mt. Everest expedition during which eight people lost their lives. This book drew me in and I found myself speaking, thinking, and dreaming about this fascinating and curious story for four days. Mountain Zone and Outside Magazine are interesting reads on the subject as well.

"I dream about the days to come, when I won't have to leave alone. The days when I won't have to say; kiss me and smile for me, tell me that you'll wait for me. Hold me like you'll never let me go."
~ "Leaving on a Jet Plane"

I love when old memories and new hopes mesh together so nicely.

After an enlightening stop at work and some serious thought, I have come to the conclusion that my job is the major cause of my progressively declining mood over the past two or three years. I have many theories on this, and if you care to hear any of my thoughts on why it is an evil company, ask me. I may end up posting it all here sometime anyway, but not yet. Time to do some serious job hunting.

The last couple of weeks have been both depressing and promising at the same time. It's time for me to make some changes. Time to get my act together. I am hopeful.

I went to the Minnesota State Fair today... pronto pups (yummy wheat dogs, previously thought to be corn dogs), mini donuts, shaved ice, taffy, and all that good stuff. THEN the midway for a bunch of crazy rides. My tummy is not happy with me right now.

Sometimes there just isn't much to say...

I often wonder if I am just ultra paranoid or if my fears and worries are justified. As I said (ever so profoundly) a week or so ago (though it has since become a joke), I am trying to figure out what's real and what's not.

Aaron is a fantastic web designer and has wonderful ideas. "The Window" is an extremely moving story. It stirs my curiosities to learn more about the characters and makes me long for another chapter or two.

I wish for a world with nothing but honesty and openness. I think I wish for too much.

Thanks to Evan for unintentionally introducing me to Meat Beat Manifesto Friday night in the car on the way to White Castle. I was immediately hooked and had to pick up "Original Fire" tonight. It's fantastic! Another good site can be found here.

One crazy night can change one's entire outlook on the world. What was seemingly so important before can become so surprisingly trivial and what should matter becomes so obvious.

I woke up hot and much earlier than I had hoped, after a late night. I somehow needed it to be cloudy today and I got my wish. It is raining lightly and there is gentle thunder in the distance. The Sundays are in my cd player and somehow everything seems okay.

BT cancelled his concert on July 28th due to a torn ligament in his leg or some such. It didn't quite hit me until now that I was going to see the artist I'd most like to see in concert, and it didn't happen. I heard rumors of a reschedule sometime in October, but who knows if it will actually happen. In the meantime, I wait, and I listen to his cds on repeat.

I saw Titan AE last night and was pleasantly surprised. The previews hyped it up quite a bit and I couldn't wait to see it, but after it came out I heard nothing but bad comments from friends. Then I read some online reviews and decided to give it a shot. The plot is very elementary, but the music and the eye candy is fantastic! Everywhere I looked there were beautiful 3D animations of things I have only seen in dreams or while under the influence of something quite sugary or otherwise.

DJ Depth - pretty darn good trance/techno from San Fransisco. Go get his stuff! (after you get Matt's)

I just creeped up the basement steps to get a glass of water and was rewarded with the sound of crickets outside the back door. It's a beautiful summer night and I can turn to see my sweetie sleeping beside me as I watch tv and geek out on my computer. I am completely content.

Ever feel like this? How about this? I love Explodingdog.

St. Paul and Minneapolis are now sponsoring Peanuts on Parade, 75 concrete painted Snoopy statues in various places around the cities, to honor Charles Schulz and his comic. Celestial Fantasy Snoopy, Stargazing Snoopy, Rainbow Snoopy, and Snoopy Night are my favorites. :o)

Link from Kottke.org: "Blaine the DJ". Matt's response: "Oh my f***ing god." Let's just say there are pros and cons to the uprising of electronica. ;o)

The last three days have been incredibly relaxing and just what I needed to boost my spirits. Northern Minnesota is absolutely beautiful - trees everywhere, lakes, streams, rocks, and wildlife. We took a four hour hike, swam in an ice cold lake, and picked wild blueberries. :o)

On a slightly different note; I know all too well how this feels. I so often wonder what it would be like to be somebody else - same friends and family - but a different me. I am happy with who I am, but not content. I know there is more somewhere inside. ( * Okay, so that previous link doesn't quite take ya to the right place in her archives for some reason... scroll down to "lunes, 24 de julio, 2000" and read the second paragraph. * )

Sunday evening a piece of a major freeway in the Minneapolis metro area was shut down and evacuated because of "two suspicious orange juice containers found there." This is a sad sad world when we must be paradnoid of orange juice containers.

Later today I am off to a lake home near Ely (a.k.a. way off in the boonies of northern Minnesota), owned by my boyfriend's grandmother, for a few days of escape. Send me e-mail so I have something to come home to. :o)

Internet Relay Chat (otherwise known as IRC and most commonly accessed with mIRC) has been the bane of my existence for something like six years now. Help me.

Download the newest release by Little Plastic Jesus, "Tom is an Arse" (don't ask me what the title has to do with the song other than that it was written for his good friend Tom). Or stream it in hi-fi or lo-fi. While yer at it, check out his mp3.com page and the Wardogz page - these guys are some of the most talented electronic music artists in the area.

My world is a Pop-O-Matic world. I see things in bits of color and shape. Memories come in clips - sometimes of the important aspects, more often of the completely meaningless aspects. Putting these together creates the pop-o-matic art of me.

I'm not quite sure what to say about this. Kudos to whoever had the guts to pick on the company that is trying to take over the world. (I have a love/hate relationship with this place.)

Useless FYI: I've been working for Target for five years and have never been the employee of the month. Go me! :o)

Ever notice that thoughts seem so much more profound as they're happening than when you go to write them down a couple of hours later?

Remember the awful Stinkymeat? Well, Christian is at it again - this time with Stinkyfeet. What is wrong with this guy?! ;P

For some reason, I have been fascinated with sites of the people that worked on Swanky for quite some time. Now they have a site that anyone can contribute to. Don't I feel lucky?

Drive now, talk later. Even as a periodic cell phone user, I think this should be the case in every city.

How not to ventilate you computer... (found this link on Metafilter)

It was a fun weekend, though over much too quickly. Friday night we went to X-Men and I was pleasantly surprised as I usually don't like that sort of movie - though my movie tastes have been changing lately. This movie has a neat site - haven't you always wanted to attend "Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters?" Saturday night we arrived a little to late to see a Shakespeare play up at Como Park so we mini-golfed on a cute little course with a cute little old lady running it, went down to southern St. Paul to go to White Castle, up to Uptown to go to Cheapo, down to Eagan to go to the 24 hour Walmart (yes, even diehard Target employees shop at Walmart once in a while), then back up into Minneapolis to play a board game at one of our homes. I'd be interested to know just how many miles we drove just to do those few random things.

More pictures from Trick4 are now up at MNRave. I seem to have found my way into a couple, small and unobvious as I may be. ;P

As much as I enjoy free time and being able to do whatever I want, I'm getting a little bored. I'm trying to figure out how to make things happen and make life a little bit more exciting... or at least not quite so uneventful.

In two weeks I get to see BT live. This man has a fascinating musical style - he somehow is able to combine techno, trance, pop, and classical, and come up with something beautiful. His music has saved my sanity many a night, and I can't think of anyone I'd rather see perform (okay, other than Underworld...). ;o)

Nothing hurts more than when the virtues you hold in yourself are used against you. In my case I try to be as open and as honest as I can, while not hurting anyone or getting in anyone's way. This has been backfiring on me lately. Any ideas?

"Tricknology4" on Saturday night was fantastic! I wasn't quite sure what to expect as it was at the same venue as "One" a couple of months ago, which had insane amounts of security and police and was a somewhat disappointing evening. Don't get me wrong, the talent was incredible, but other factors played their part in it just being a bad night. This weekend, on the other hand, was amazing! We had to wait for about an hour to get in, but it was nowhere near as bad as last time because they got smart and kept the line outside the sets of doors. Once we got in, we enjoyed many well-known djs; Kenny Ken & MC Fearless, Delta Nine (awesome hardcore), D.A.V.E. the Drummer (acid techno and a drum machine), and Taylor (acid techno and trance)! I managed to work my way right up to the front row for Taylor's set to watch the man in action and dance the hour away. The overall vibe was really friendly that night as well, despite the incredible heat (over 100 and steamy), and crowdedness. Some pictures can be found at The Vibe under 'parties' then 'Tricknology4'.

Still recovering from Tricknology4. What a night! More on that tomorrow. In the meantime, Ember.org is an absolutely beautiful site with submitted stories about first loves.

Interview with BT on LA Live.

Too cute. :o)

I'm so anxious to see "Groove!" It's here at two different theatres on the next two Fridays and I hope I can get into it. These two theatres tend to only have indie movies, yet they still manage to draw huge crowds, long lines, and sell outs. I've heard it is a very accurate representation of the rave scene and is very much worth the outrageous cost of movie tickets lately ($8 in the MSP area).

Tricknology4 is less than twenty hours away!

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me.. actually.. I can't do that.. it was an absolutely wonderful birthday - (and it was now yesterday). I got to see or hear from most of the people I love. I spent the morning with my sweetheart, and the evening with my family. Had a nice meal, chocolate cake, and got to go pick out a new bike (finally I can go bike riding again!). Gonna sleep in, head back to the cities to hopefully do well on my final for Psychology of Death and Dying (*crosses fingers*), and the rest of the weekend is mine!

The fireworks were fantabulous last night! We went to the state capitol building to watch them again and they were even better than Saturday night!

I'm off to have a picnic and watch the fireworks with Matty... should be a fun evening. Home to Willmar tomorrow for my 22nd b-day then back on Thursday for my final... busy week. Happy Independence Day!

I'm feeling a little bad about not attending Ducktona 500 with Aaron on Sunday as we had all been really excited about it on Thursday night, but I started losing my enthusiasm when others couldn't go for one reason or another and after I had been up all night until about 10am on Saturday morning. I crashed until late that evening then went to Taste of Minnesota with Matt and Ben. It was somewhat disappointing as I thought they'd have more going on there than just the food booths and a few craft booths, but it was worth attending for the incredible fireworks display afterwards. I have never seen such a show in my life!

Since that night I have managed to sleep about 22 of the 38 hours (mostly during the daytime), watch "Falling Down" and "Contact" and way too many snake and insect shows on the Discovery Channel. Time to get in gear and study for my final which is already coming up on Thursday!

Something about White Castle at 4am never fails to cheer me up, especially when it's purchased with nickels and dimes. :o)

I saw much of the old crowd I used to hang out with tonight and it felt good. I was reminded of a lot of good memories and recemented (is that a word?) a few friendships. Shout outs and thank yous to Pat, Tim, Nissa, Aaron, Eric, Zach, Jen, Tiffany, and Jim. You guys are great.

Music soothes a weary soul...

Paul Van Dyk - "Forbidden Fruit" (ooooh, so pretty!), "For An Angel" (I wish I knew the story behind this one.)
Little Plastic Jesus - "See & Say" (What can I say? He's incredible.)
BT - "Running Down the Way Up," "Mercury and Solace"
Dune - "So Beautiful"

Thanks guys.

lonliness

I'm doing exactly what all the blogger gurus out there frown upon. I'm going to quote another blog and reuse a link. Megnut had a link to this a few days back - one of the most disgusting and hilarious things I've ever seen.

I'm in the midst of working on a new layout for this entire webpage. In the meantime, the current one is very annoying. I have so much to learn.

If you like hard techno, check out Thomas Schreiber's site and his live set which can be played in Real Player. It's incredible. I miss raving.

I was having a long overdue conversation with Luke Saturday night and we somehow got onto the subject of how much our/my views have changed in the past few years and about being a fence walker. I'm the queen of the fence walkers. I can't seem to form a strong opinion one way or the other on anything. Being able to understand and relate to anyone's point of view can be good or very detrimental. I used to have very strong opinions on many of the issues we were speaking of, at least as they related to me. This was partly because of my parents and the beliefs they instilled in me and partly because of the religion that I was immersed in my entire childhood. Now as I am meeting new people, seeing new things, and having new experiences, those opinions and morals are breaking down. I'm amazed at the world out there that I had no idea existed because I was too shut off to it before. I'm sure much of this isn't tremendously wonderful for me, and may come back to haunt me someday, but in the meantime, I have learned more in the past year or two than I learned the entire first twenty years of my life. It's like neo-cubism - I'm starting to be able to see things from more than one side and it's painting a very strange but fascinating picture.

(As I am feeling no where near as intellectual as I was that night, I'm going to close this here before I babble into oblivion. If I made no sense whatsoever, talk to me.)

To quote Luke who was quoting Calvin and Hobbes, it's like 'neo-cubism.' That is, my recently changed views of everything... more on this tomorrow... off to get some much needed sleep.

Beware of flying Carl Buddig meat packages!

...looking forward to the weekend despite having no clue what I'm going to be doing. I'm a planner. I like to know everything a few days or more ahead. It makes it very hard when the rest of the world isn't. ;P I'm hoping to pull together some sort of reunion of a few old friends that are now living in the area - should be interesting and very fun.

I had to write my own epitaph for class yesterday. Boy was that an interesting task...

My psych class went to a funeral home last night for a tour and saw the embalming room. Despite my anxiousness to see it, in a class of about thirty people, I was the one who couldn't handle it, the one who had to step out of the room because I got faint. I'm disappointed and very humbled.

The rain that we've been getting the last few days is lovely and much needed, but where are these storms they've been talking about? If we're going to get rain we might as well have a little thunder and lightning to go with it.

Mom and Dad are going to be here this weekend. I am hard pressed to find an evening to spend with them around work and everything else. It's funny that despite how bored I get and how uneventful my life seems, I still can never find enough time in the day to get everything done. ;P

I watched the newest version of "Dracula" last night. All I can say is WOW.

"There are some things you learn best in calm and some in storms." - Willa Cather

...and bad dreams... (see previous entry)

I'm not sure I like thinking about this death stuff. It's supposed to be a positive class, supposed to calm fears, but it's creating fears in me that were never there previously.

It's been a good weekend with friends. Two beautiful days, lots of wacky fun (ask me for details if you wish), and very little sleep. Tonight my weekend comes to a close. I have to work a full day tomorrow and will probably come home to a very uneventful evening. It's okay though, I know I will be needing the rest.

Sometimes I think I worry and plan too much. Then when plans aren't made, things aren't thought through, events do or do not occur exactly as I had worried they would. It's frustrating, but somewhat reaffirming as well. And kind of silly.

I'm not the only one. (see previous entry)

I've decided over the last week that I have every mental illness known to man. Chew on that one. ;o)

Congratulations! It's a... blog! And until I figure this thing out... the html of it all... the colors, the fonts, etc, it will be very ugly. Please be patient. :o)

My previous entries are here.