Why am I here? (Act one)

What brought me back to blog land? I blame my friends Meredith and Misty. Nearly two months ago, Meredith invited me out to a coffee meeting with Jen from priorfatgirl.com and several of her friends that are on weight loss journeys along with her.

Allow me to step back in time a bit. I've been overweight for much of my adult life. Not huge, but definitely not healthy and not where I want to be. (How I got there is an entire post in itself, so I'll save that for later.) This weight issue has been on my mind daily for over a decade, to which I'm sure anyone who has carried around any extra poundage in our society can relate. It's in your face daily when you get up and look in the mirror to brush your teeth. It's in your face on billboards and magazine pages and tv shows; the images of what we should look like. It's hard to ignore.

In early 2008, a friend at work mentioned to me that some others were doing a weight loss pool. We would each throw in 10 bucks, have an initial weigh-in, a mid-point weigh in, and a final weigh-in after a few months. The person that had lost the highest percentage of their weight (to keep it a fair contest) would win the moola. I thought, 'what the heck,' and threw in my cash. I was at a point where I was completely sick of myself in many ways (not just my weight), and this was a step in the right direction.

The guy I was dating at the time had a tendency to get very caught up in ideas and run with them, usually dragging me right along with, for better or for worse. He jumped on the weight-loss bandwagon right along with me, which was awesome. We started to eat healthy(er), be more active, and focus on the goal of winning me that cash! Skip forward four months. I kicked some ass. I lost 30ish pounds in that time. I felt awesome. I won the contest. I was proud of myself for the first time in a long time. The best part was that people at work were noticing and commenting on nearly a daily basis.

Then my world caved in on me. I'll save you the gory details, but let's just say it involved a breakup of a very long relationship (think 9 years), and what felt like the collapse of my entire being. I continued to lose weight, but not in a healthy way. I simply did not feel like eating. I would have an apple and some crackers for the entire day. I went on like this for a couple of weeks, lost another 10 pounds, and felt horrible (mentally and physically). Then I started enjoying too many nights out, too many beers, too many snacks. I ate to deal with my pain and packed back on a few pounds here and there.

Fast forward another 8 or 9 months. I went on my first date with my guy. It was blissful. Well, as blissful as it could be considering we were and are both in major states of flux in our lives. So we ate. We ate because it was something we had in common - a big love of cooking and a huge love of eating. We ate because we were celebrating our new found joy in sharing time together. All of this celebrating started to add up and we began to pack on the pounds.

Now, I won't speak for him, but let's just say that I gained back almost all of the weight that I had worked so hard to lose a year or so prior. I got mad at myself. I kicked myself in the butt every time I got dressed in the morning and felt my pants a little tighter. I mumbled hating words to myself as I ripped a hole in my jeans simply by getting into the high seat of my guy's truck (they had grown too tight). I cursed myself every time I had to buy new clothes in a larger size. Just a year and a half prior, I had donated all sorts of clothes in those sizes when I had LOST the weight. Now here I was gaining it all back again?!

So, early April, Meredith invited me to the coffee group. I went, semi-reluctantly, semi-excitedly. I'm shy until I am sure that I can let loose around people. But I went, and I'm so grateful that I did. There were twenty or so amazing women, of all ages, sitting around a large circle of tables. I was nervous at first, but soon go into the positive energy that was radiating off of every single one of those women. It was obvious that they were there with love in their hearts. No one was judging anyone. They were supportive and inspiring. I was hooked.

(to be continued...)

Years. It's been years since I shared pieces of my live on the internet via anything more formal than facebook. I sat down to start up a new blog and ran into this old one that was sitting on Blogger collecting dust. Feel free to read back if you wish - there's not a lot here - just some silliness. Back in the day, my livejournal held a little bit more of my life, but it's been long since collecting dust as well.

It's time to start anew. Well, not entirely anew. I'm going to continue on the same old blog because I am not necessarily an entirely new person. I have gone through some huge changes in recent years, but the current me is still very much built on the foundation of the old me, cracks and all.

I'm excited to delve into the blog world again. There is such a huge network of amazing people out there, just waiting to be interacted with. And with that, I say welcome, take off your shoes and stay awhile. May I make you a cup of tea?

In my referrer logs: "calvin and hobbes neo cubism"

Sounds like someone's writing a bad high school term paper.

I may just end up boxing up a rock and sending it off via U.S. mail. Cool.

Oi, excuse my laziness. I've been keeping better tabs on my livejournal - read that if you want.

I need to do something about this thing.

Finally, an offical answer to the age-old question: "soda, coke, or pop?"

(borrowed from booboolina.com

I envy the creative minds behind the gorgeous art at Epilogue.

Here's a really cute use for those old jeans you've got lying around. Ya know, the ones that don't fit anymore? Or the ones that got mangled in the washing machine (our washer eats denim, num num) or that you loved so dearly they look like swiss cheese...

Amazon now has a feature allowing one to search for a book by any set of words within the text. Imagine the data entry staff this endeavor required!

Friday Five

1. When was the last time you laughed?
at dinner with my boy and a roomie, discussing the upcoming weekend

2. Who was the last person you had an argument with?
Matt, thankfully a while ago

3. Who was the last person you emailed?
a gal that I met on Livejournal who's going to send me some really neat socks she found

4. When was the last time you bathed?
a couple of hours ago, long hair's STILL wet

5. What was the last thing you ate?
hardshell tacos

Mr. Little Guy. I think this is so wonderful. I might have to go wander Lake Harriet sometime and leave a note.

A friend of mine got a little write up in USA Today about his participation in a Flash Mob.

I love this post blaming the recent East coast "power outtage" on a flash mob.

This trend is seems to be storming the country. It's fascinating and I love it! Someone email me directions for the next one. :o)

Just cuz everytime I look at this it makes me giggle...

Enjoy the hay.

Astrojax look neat. They also look simple enough for even my bumbling hands to control.

I know I've known someone that owned a set of these at one point or another, but I don't think I've ever seen them in action. Anyone have any experience with them?

Here we are getting settled into the new place and we finally have high-speed internet at our fingertips again. Incredibly, I didn't miss it all that much, other than when I'd be in conversation with someone, we'd have a question about something and say "check the internet." It's not that simple with dial-up and one phone line. Especially dial-up that takes anywhere from two to ten minutes to actually connect properly.

We've been busy, of course, trying to deal with situations like this:

and playing a little bit of this:

and ending up like this:

and this:


Yup, Squirt is back in our midst! He's making us all a little sniffly, but he's such a joy to have pouncing around. He seems to be settling in okay, as well, and has already attempted a 5am attempt at cooking. We woke up to a small crash and Matt went up the stairs to find the spice rack and all of its contents tumbled across the counter.

So anyway, back to some form of normalness, if it's possible in our lives. ;o)

This page represents my life. At the moment my life is very boring and predictable. There isn't much to see, but there is quite a bit of non-coherent reading material inside. It needs a revamping. This will come. Soon, I hope. For now, there is packing up and cleaning to be done.

Note to self, more movies to see:

Finding Nemo
The Last Samurai
The Italian Job (Mini Cooper chase AND Charlize Theron... omg)
Spirited Away
Bowling For Columbine

[joep] mmmmm sour cream
[joep] i like chipotle
[joep] it tastes good
[joep] and gives me an erection
[joep] er
[joep] forget i said that last part

(from #kr)

Friday Five

1. What was the first band you saw in concert?
Collective Soul at First Avenue (Prince's club). Two friends and I took a road trip from our hometown in outstate MN when we were about 16 or 17. It was a blast. :o)

2. Who is your favorite artist/band now?
Underworld, Dave Matthews Band, U2, Max Graham.......................................

3. What's your favorite song?
This very moment; "The Greatness of Britain" by Paul Van Dyk. All time; "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel.

4. If you could play any instrument, what would it be?
acoustic guitar

5. If you could meet any musical icon (past or present), who would it be and why?
I've already met my favorite musical icon, my boyfriend (/cheese), but beyond him, probably Madonna. She's fascinating.